tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123220004852614124.post1199667437374515793..comments2023-04-11T09:19:44.454-07:00Comments on Ask A Jailbird: From The Beginning.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123220004852614124.post-68258860594415717042016-12-04T11:20:02.276-08:002016-12-04T11:20:02.276-08:002/2
I know it's been a while since you posted ...2/2<br />I know it's been a while since you posted (and I guess this website is actually run by John, and you're a good man for doing it, sir!) but I saw you were discharged in 2014 (same as me) and want to send you some good vibes. I had some hard times recently that put my mind back to during and before and on the chance it's a biannual thing I'd like to share with you the hope that things can get better.<br /><br />As a side note, I second the motion for a book. I've found that writing is a nonpareile way of organizing my thoughts, truly it is thinking in a different language, one that I find easier to speak than what my mind seems to resort to, most of the time. So I put out articles and opinion pieces, either transmitting something I learned or in an effort to increase understanding between the different factions of my social network. My friends and family network loves my stuff as I think yours and the world has with regards to yours. I get calls for a book too and I'm working on it... just figuring out how to write one with some fiction and the like, really. It's not easy, but it feels like The Thing I Must Do.<br /><br />Anyway best wishes to ya my friend, and happy holidays. Hope this finds you well, if it finds you at all.Pariahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13736453278340197098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123220004852614124.post-49807487355664177322016-12-04T11:19:37.911-08:002016-12-04T11:19:37.911-08:001/2
Good stuff, man. Glad you're out. Monste...1/2<br />Good stuff, man. Glad you're out. Monster to man ratio is a helpful phrase. A lot of men, maybe even most, feel similarly to how you do.<br /><br />I wouldn't be surprised if Celtic heritage had something to do with it. I'm about half and I feel like I'm fighting my nature every day just to get along in civil society. It makes sense if you consider that we were artificially selected to produce individuals that think get naked and painting ourselves blue to attack the Engles with broadswords was a grand old time (and it does kind of sound like fun, even today, doesn't it?) and now we're supposed to strive for top marks in med school, take it slow with women, and be civil to the English (who remain fucking royals to this day!).<br /><br />A history of savage survival violence does produce an intelligent and strategic mind, many of which have profitted the world greatly, but I think also makes a tendency towards ADD and for lack of a better word anxiety when it's not engaged in some struggle or hustle. The Sherlock Holmes model of opiate use.<br /><br />No way to wind down. It sounds like you've found it with your children, and maybe that's the key, but you're not alone in the journey.<br /><br />You did some bad shit, you know that, especially kicking that kid over the campfire. Sounds like you got your karma for it in New York and have otherwise paid your debts, more or less. For myself I was not as randomly violent, though I think that is only bbecause I am smaller and had a much nicer childhood, certainly our imaginations, talents and priorities have much in common. I did 11 months in county over some dumb shit, drug violence to be brief about it, so I have the barest image of how much your time was a shitty one. Luckily I didn't have to deal with the "social" aspects since I was having psychosis and withdrawal issues the whole time and was in ad-seg. They called it the hole there too so I guess I was one of those, I refused offers of a roommate because I could only deal with one crazy cellmate at a time.<br /><br />Anyway it worked! I've been clean and sober since the day of my arrest, not even marijuana (though I ate the wrong batch of my brother's brownies once by accident) nor a single cigarette. I can't tell if I've got permanent damage from the drinking and drugs but I do still feel foggy at odd intervals, alternating with times when I can show by objective means that my coworkers are being morons and not listening to my better ideas haha. Alcohol withdrawal doesn't have shit on the heavy-duty crazy pills, by the way, it was in the deepest depths of medication that I finally resolved to change my behavior for the better (lest I return to a similar single-person box of hell again) but I hesitate to correlate them directly. Sounds like you were brought to the same epiphany by the last described beating: the final and sudden illumination of the pattern obvious to all others but ourselves, if we continue thinking and feeling in the ways that are familiar and natural, we will, certainly, return to this undesired position again, if we are not killed first.<br /><br />So I changed (my behavior at least, the mind remains the same), and it was rough, but a year and a half out I got put on dexedrine by a perceptive VA shrink who pegged me for the ADD and not depression or PTSD or schizo or whatever. That stuff has been a miracle for the fog and the stress of resisting myself, and if you can get it for free / afford it at all it might be worth having some professional head-sessions so you can give it a shot. YMMV of course, and I speak from the privileged position of complimentary VA mental health care.Pariahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13736453278340197098noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123220004852614124.post-78950836327345996072014-06-29T15:15:29.242-07:002014-06-29T15:15:29.242-07:00Your style is strikingly similar to Hunter S Thomp...Your style is strikingly similar to Hunter S Thompsons. Which is pretty hard to do and probably why I enjoyed it. Good job! Doctor Gonzohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17482424720833702345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6123220004852614124.post-10990092701939329482012-12-25T21:34:37.601-08:002012-12-25T21:34:37.601-08:00WOW...what a fucking life and what fucking skill y...WOW...what a fucking life and what fucking skill you have with turning a phrase. Wanted to highlight some of your phrases/sentences that struck me as being really inventive and compelling, but would have ended up highlighting the whole damn thing.Fuck the blog shit and write a book. <br /><br />I am...Annie's Assholeanniesassholehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17424667441701444989noreply@blogger.com